


him

by 2BWonkyo



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Bullying, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Perfume, Trans Character, Transphobia, Workplace Relationship, biker jooheon :D
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:15:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28996578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2BWonkyo/pseuds/2BWonkyo
Summary: Today’s limit is that hell of a classmate he wants to forget, sitting just in front of him. Kihyun knew this face was familiar, even after a decade, he remembers it, but he didn’t expect the guy to show up in the middle of one of those annoying after-work drinking parties, asking if he could join because he thinks he knows Kihyun from somewhere, and presenting himself as fucking Im Changkyun.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun, Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Lee Jooheon
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	him

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHANGKYUN AND IM SORRY I MADE YOU AN ASSHOLE IN THIS STORY

Kihyun breathes.

That’s all he’s been doing and people hate him for it. And by people, he meant his flings when they learn he wasn’t born with the body he walks with, he meant his colleagues, who smile at him every morning but can’t hide their mockery and disgust, he meant his family, who threw him out of the house when he thoroughly said he wanted a dick, between the main dish and the dessert. He meant his classmates that ruined his middle school years. 

Yet it’s okay. Contrary to whoever may care, he isn’t ashamed, sad, or hating himself. Actually, Kihyun came to reach proudness. Despite the entire world looking down on him, he feeds off that hatred to become the exact opposite of what the society expected him to be.

“Be thin, be cute, be feminine, be delicate, be elegant,” they say.

“Be buff, be handsome, be masculine, but also delicate and elegant because fuck genders,” his mirror says. Love yourself first, right? Kihyun can be told he doesn’t deserve to, he still loves himself. 

But who is gullible enough to think it’s enough? It isn’t. It’s hard to meet people who only want to put him back where he belongs: in a girl’s body, in disgrace of his family. So no matter how strong he is, there are limits.

Today’s limit is that hell of a classmate he wants to forget, sitting just in front of him. Kihyun knew this face was familiar, even after a decade, he remembers it, but he didn’t expect the guy to show up in the middle of one of those annoying after-work drinking parties, asking if he could join because he thinks he knows Kihyun from somewhere, and presenting himself as fucking Im Changkyun. Kihyun’s eyes grew wide as he froze. If he wasn’t so shocked, he would’ve jumped at how hard his heart beat against his ribs. For the first time in a long time, he feels actually scared.

“Oh? You know Kihyun? I didn’t know he had friends,” a bitch colleague ironically giggles, but Kihyun skips the harsh comment, waking up and meeting Changkyun’s eyes, who looks just as taken aback.

“Kihyun…” the dark haired thinks for the moment, trying the name on his tongue before memories light up his face. “Oh! Oh my god, S-”

Kihyun stands up in a flash and slams his hands on the table, plunging the whole private room in an awful silence. Thankfully, he escapes the room fast, forcefully taking Changkyun’s arm with him not so kindly, “I have to talk to him,” and leaves. If the time given, he would’ve faked an excuse, but with Im Changkyun, of course nothing can ever go well.

“Wait, lemm-”

“You fucker, listen to me,” once outside the restaurant, the cold air of the night hits them but Kihyun doesn’t pay it attention, slamming the younger to the brick wall without restraint. Changkyun lets out a painful groan, putting his hands between them as a protection reflex. “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but it’s not funny. All I want is to live in peace so let me the fuck alone.”

“I didn’t do anything, you’re being paranoid!”

“My dead name!” Kihyun slams him harder, firmly holding his shoulder. “Don’t say my dead name to anyone, ever, just forget it! If it even crosses your lips, I’m killing you.”

“Dead name…? Oh, your real name?” Changkyun asked innocently, staring at Kihyun’s glare.

“It isn’t my fucking real name, I’m Yoo Kihyun, forget however I was called before, asshole. Try to play dumb again and we’ll see which of us can ruin a life the most.”

“Okay wow, first, calm down, I’m not here to… ruin your life, or whatever.” Kihyun raises his brows, highly doubting it but stays silent. “I actually recognized you but I wasn’t very sure it was you or not… you changed a lot.”

“If you mean the little girl you loved to see crying, then yeah, guess she died.” The older man hears the calm and unthreatening voice Changkyun uses and, on reflection, decides to release him. Still, he keeps his body close, ready to hold the other if he thinks of escaping before their little discussion ends.

“Not like that, oh my god, you’re still bitter about this.”

Kihyun blinks. “Are you serious? I was being humiliated every single day to remind me of the failure I am and you just watched, didn’t give a fuck, besides I know you talked behind my back, so are you expecting me to welcome you with open arms?”

Changkyun immediately notices the anger he put Kihyun in, and shakes his hand in front of his chest, trying to justify himself, “Wait, listen, I was a brat! An ass! I was a 12 years old stupid kid that still didn’t know anything about life and made fun of others to make himself feel better but really, you have all the rights to hate me, so I’m not trying to ruin anything of your life, and I didn’t know saying your birth name was innapropriate, I appologize for it too.”

Kihyun looks at him up and down, doubting his sincerity. “So what the fuck do you want?”

“It’s just that… I happened to experience a glitch of the hell I gave you so… now I understand how it feels to be rejected by everyone and- Fuck, I’m not trying to bring this back to me, I’m just saying that I feel guilty for not helping you back then and when I saw you earlier, I couldn’t just let this opportunity slip out of my hands, I had to apologize… At least. I’m sorry.”

Kihyun doesn’t answer, processing. A part of himself, deep inside, laughs at how naive he is for believing the other a little. Blame him, but Changkyun seems so sincere. From his weak expression he never shown in front of the older, his tone, his words, everything screams _guilt._ But maybe the reason he believes him, or at least wants to believe him so bad is because Changkyun is the first person to ever show regret for hurting him. From his supposed to be friends that only were betrayals on hold to his family that promised to be here for him no matter what but abandoned him in the wild like a dirty stray dog.

It’s the first time someone feels compassion for him.

“You’re cute when you’re not frowning,” Changkyun shyly giggles, putting his index in between his brows, pulling Kihyun out of his inner thoughts. A rush of shame then crosses his soul.

_Why is he crying?_

“Shut up, you ass.” Kihyun slaps the younger’s hand away, drying his tears a little too harshly, as the dry skin of his fingers scrubs his lids, that should probably be red by now. _Fuck, he can’t go back like this._ “Okay, I accept your apology-”

“Am I forgiven?” Changkyun asks with excitement.

“No.”

“Oh…” he looks down, a sad smile painting his cheeks. “Well… I’ll leave then. Have a good night, and I’m sorry again, you didn’t deserve it.”

“Yeah. Good night.” Kihyun looks away and steps back on the pavement, widening the space between them. The message is clear, and the dark haired starts to move, head down.

“Oh, and-” he turns around, unable to contain whatever words he is dying to say, “when I said you changed, I meant your… transition. You look very handsome, so congratulations,” he bows, a little embarrassed. “ _Now_ , I won't bother you longer, good night.” This time, he leaves for good, letting Kihyun swim in his misery again.

Apologizing for the way he treated him a decade ago is one thing, but congratulating him for going through his gender transitioning is another. In this society, people are either disgusted, either accepting it but trying to forget he isn’t “a real man”, but in no way are they congratulating him. So he feels overwhelmed, weak. Powerless over his own emotions. 

He shouldn’t be so happy, but he can’t help but smile on his way home, (fuck that party, he’ll say to his boss the liquor made him sick.) Meeting Changkyun again wasn’t that bad, even though they’ll never be friends.

Or at least, it’s the peaceful end whatever they had would have deserved if destiny wasn’t so cruel to him.

“I present to you, Im Changkyun, the perfumer you will have to work with this season,” his cursed boss says the next day, letting the said perfumer enter the room. When Changkyun recognizes Kihyun, he smiles full teeth, greeting him.

The joy is unrequited. If creative director already was a job he never appreciated much, it’s now valid to say he hates it. 

**Author's Note:**

> so, this was supposed to be a one shot, but my changki heart found it illegal, so there will be other chapters!


End file.
